A blocked ear
Last Friday, I gave my students their term reports. After giving each student his or her report, I encouraged them.
Some of the students came to me after I finished sharing the reports. One of them said, “Angie, last term, I took the 11th position. This term I took the 4th position but you said I can do better.”
I responded, “You took the 4th position in this class but not the entire stream. In the stream, you are in the twentieth column. You can do better than that.”
He said, “I have done well. It was my goal to perform better than this student and I did.”
I looked at him and said, “Your goal is to be better than you did last term. Your goal should be you, not your colleagues.”
He quickly added, “I performed better than I did last term so I did well. After all, I did better than these people.”
I knew he was not ready to listen to my advice so I said, “When you stop giving yourself excuses, you can come for my advice.”
He walked away and I attended to the other students.
Many of us behave like my student.
Our ears are blocked with the excuses we keep giving ourselves.
Listening is important in all forms of conversations.
The moment you refuse to listen to what the other person is saying, you lose so much.
Take for instance a situation where your partner refuses to listen to anything you say.
Before you know it, your partner will stop talking about things he or she used to talk about effortless. Some even go to the extent of not giving you any advice even when you ask them.
This attitude will weaken the bond between the two of you.
What about friendship?
Nobody wants to be with a friend who does not listen to him or her. When your friend doesn’t listen to you, you conclude that he or she does need any form of assistance from you.
Imagine living with a child who refuses to listen to anything you tell him or her.
This becomes a living hell because he or she will always be in trouble and you will be the only person to save him or her. When it continues like that, as a parent, you may be tempted to give up on your child.
When was the last time you listened to the ideas of your team members?
Do you always ignore their views and do things as you wish?
Do you shut them out anytime they bring new ideas?
What do you think account for our inability to listen?
- Our desire to be right all the time. Most often when we are in a conversation with others, we always want to prove a point. In such instances, we confuse facts with opinions and try to shove our opinions on people. Would you want to keep your relationship or you want to be right?
- Our desire to look good. We refuse to listen because we want to be in the good books of others. However, our refusal to listen doesn’t get us there. When you refuse to see the sign being presented before you, obviously, you are not listening to anyone. You are just fixated on you. You don’t listen to what others say because you are not ready to hear the truth.
My dear readers, I want to learn from you.
Why don’t we listen?
